Stockholm syndrome of the spirit: Part II

I really hope that you can see why you are going through what you are and why circumstances have felt exhausting and stressful at times. All of us making a transition into a new way of being, one aligned to our soul purpose will have baggage to be removed and that there is the exhausting part. It may not feel like it at times but this is actual progress so please congratulate yourself with some much deserved kudos as you can now see that things need to change, more importantly it is us who need to change.

For me there were two key things I had to do for myself quite early on. The first was to make peace with my situation. Its tricky though- when you know how you want your life to be and are at this point you can feel frustrated and a failure. I kept thinking to myself that I simply wasn’t doing this ‘the right way’. If you are thinking that DON’T. As we’ve seen this is a necessary process to get you to where you want to be. We’ve said it before and we will say it again-the only way out is in. Embrace this stage for what it is and you are already making progress. Acceptance is key- if you fight your situation you are fighting yourself and chances are you will remain in it. If you go against it you will not be able to understand and learn. Things and people may leave your life at this stage, trust that it is necessary and that whatever that which has left you brought to your life is no longer serving you. You may feel as though your security has been taken away from you that you are out of your comfort zone. You are not, please realise that your security is provided by you and you only. It does not come from other people or ‘things’. Your higher self is asking you to go within and realise that it is you who creates the good in your life not anything else.

I’m not talking out of my hat here or indeed from a condescending viewpoint. I have been there. The person who was dearest to me who literally felt like my other half was taken out of my life in an incredibly dramatic and painful way. I felt destroyed and barren at the time. I was so incredibly lost that I didn’t know up from down as though I was in a vacuum devoid of any personal goodness. I was not. That which I thought was a destructive blow to myself was actually a cosmic broom taking away a situation which was depleting me. Time has shown that the relationship I was in was having a hugely detrimental effect upon every single area of my life and the only thing that was removed was a spiritual black hole or if you like a barrier preventing me from becoming the person I should be.

I fought this realisation for so long. I clung on to feelings and an existence which was no good for me. I think this is because I had no self love or confidence that I sought validation in the wrong place. I also believe that it ended the way it did for a reason. The ending itself as I mentioned was bitterly painful but again that was clearly meant to be too. It was a full stop, the drawing of a line. There was no going back. So where did that ultimately leave me? I could remain feeling lost and sad or I could actually get to know me. After all we are the only person we have to live with in the end. I made peace with myself and my journey. It was the best thing I ever did for myself so please have faith that you too can do this. Interestingly this break up happened just after I began to ‘wake up’ and realise that the way I was living my life was unfulfilling and lacking in spirituality. Do not feel your ‘normal’ leaving you. It isn’t normal, it is an illusion or escapism. That which has been shaken up is something to release. Let it go. Only then are you recovering your soul and unlearning all of the detrimental thought processes and ways of being which kept you in a confined space where you could not grow.

Secondly, it is very helpful to give yourself grounding and structure. For years I struggled to reconcile myself with grounding my soul. I have always felt as if I am from somewhere else and this feeling had developed into a mind-set which did not want to be here. I wasn’t in a state where I was contemplating taking my life but I simply wanted to go back to where I came from. This really slanted my spirit actually and I believe that I used my spiritual practice as a form of escapism. This just didn’t work. Obviously. No matter what place I put my soul in temporarily I always had to return here. It took me a long ass time to realise that although I don’t feel I am from here I chose to be here, I chose this current existence. It may sound silly to you but this was a real lightbulb moment for me. The fact that I had chosen to be here meant that I had more choice in fact I had a lot of choice! I could spend my time hankering after somewhere I currently wasn’t or I could enjoy the moment here and learn what it is I am meant to. We aren’t here forever, we are here but for a brief time before we continue our journey elsewhere so we really do owe it to ourselves to get the most out of our experience here. I don’t feel the need to return because I know that when the time is right I will.

A routine for me was a very important step in learning to unlearn and become my true self. I realised that I was spending my life in a chaotic blur, almost trance like at times. Imagine a deer in the headlights, unable to move and feeling stuck. That was me. My energy was low, constricted and I wasn’t living. You may or may not believe it but life is actually incredibly loving and easy. You can move through life with joy and peace without being overwhelmed by external events but for a lot of us this has to be learned, or remembered. I would temper this a little though. Don’t be so rigid with yourself that you see your routine as a trap or a cage, be adaptable with your routine and add new things in, take some things out as your soul sees fit. It is all a learning curve and a journey.

I never saw myself as a morning person. Every second in bed was precious to me but I think for all the wrong reasons. If I was in bed and asleep I was not here in the world being consciously awake . That is not to denigrate the necessity of sleep, it is crucial to recover our body and receive the messages the universe wishes to send to our deep consciousness that perhaps we can not comprehend when we are awake and active in the world. If you do not get enough sleep (which I didn’t, I would wake every hour on the hour) you can not allow this process and it is difficult to function let alone evolve. I love sleep, but not lying in a pit to escape my existence! So I began getting up early in the morning, 6 a.m every day regardless of what I was up to. I made myself do it. I use this time to meditate. The early hours are actually quite magickal there is a beautiful stillness about everything you see and this time is so much preferable to prepare for the day than to lie in bed wishing it away.

Meditation is a tricky one though and if you are like me your mind will dart off into all sorts of tangents and day dreams as well as finding it difficult to keep still. A lot of people say they can not meditate- they can, you can. There are many forms of meditation all of them come with different benefits so research and see what suits you best. I found that guided meditation was the key to unlock my capability. Dr Joe Dispenza has been a revelation to me and his guided meditations have quite literally changed my life. I stumbled upon his work at just the right time and still it remains in my daily life. If you too wish to make a better life and better health for yourself I can not recommend him enough. My morning meditation gets me mentally and spiritually into a place where I can enjoy the day and progress my journey. I also end the day with meditation. Not directly before I fall asleep but in the evening I take time to go back to Dr Joe and the quantum field. Evening meditation helps me to assess how I moved through the day and helps me to let go of it, tuning my mind back into the reality and existence I choose to create for myself. If you just do one thing for yourself, do this, it is the best way to start and end your day I see this truly as ultimate self care.

I also use affirmations. We talked previously about mirror work (if you haven’t read that article please do. Not to be all braggy or anything but really it’s quite good) but this is only a part of affirming work. Before you begin let me assure you that it is o.k if you don’t believe what you are saying at first of course it is. Affirmations are almost a prayer- a communion with spirit and your higher self, again you are re learning everything you have previously held true but simply forgotten.

I could go into great depth about affirmation and we can do so later but for now just know that saying positive truthful statements to yourself will directly affect your reality and bring about goodness in your life. When you form your affirmation do not use the negative. If you say ‘I do not want to have a crap boyfriend’ pretty much that is what you will get, a crappy boyfriend as that is what your self is hearing. If however you were to say ‘I want a loving respectful boyfriend’ your self knows what to ask the universe. This holds true with anything you may want in life be it a new car, job, wealth, relationships etc.

It is important to base your affirmations on gratitude and love for what you already have in life which also can be tricky to adjust to. If your current job sucks still affirm gratitude for it with the acknowledgement of what it provides you and see it as a temporary situation you will move on from for example. Gratitude is the way to make affirmation work to help you on your way but I personally don’t believe it should be touted as a materialistic magic wand- it is a way to ensure you fulfil your soul purpose.

Once you have made your affirmations offer them up and let them go. Don’t hold on to them and plan out exactly how it will be brought to fruition, that’s the universe’s job. Yours is to hold the positivity in your mind, release negative thought patterns and concentrate on being the amazing soul you were born to be.

We are incredibly lucky that we live in the digital age and we can use it to our spiritual advantage. But I would like to express a little caution here-without wishing to throw shade to anybody advancing themselves and their spirituality as a career on the internet. Instagram is where I post pictures and hopefully inspiring and motivating material. I also follow many people who I find inspiring and it is great to affirm my beliefs and connections with like minded souls. I love that. I see Instagram as surfing spiritual tides as opposed to a deep scuba dive but this in itself is a good thing. However there is a slightly murkier side to the old ‘gram. I have encountered many people who offer spiritual services and connection who ‘follow to unfollow’ (I. KNOW.) and others who would have you believe that throwing a like to their spiritual meme is the only way to enlightenment. How many of us have seen this –

‘1111 THE ANGELS ARE WITH YOU LIKE IF YOU AGREE’

or

‘ABUNDANCE IS ENTERING MY LIFE LIKE IF YOU WANT ABUNDANCE’

Both of these practices leave me cold and a little sad if I am honest. Your spiritual wellbeing does not depend upon liking somebody else’s page or being somebody else’s number. Please be careful who you connect with or at the very least do not feel obliged to like something out of fear the angels will pass over and forget you- they are sat with you right now helping you on your way and are possibly just as pissed as I am that people are manipulating their loving energy in such a way. Like what you like and follow what you follow based on what makes you happy.

To bring us back to a more positive note, I find that YouTube is brilliant for helping me stay in a positive soul alignment. You will find a lot of motivational speakers work and live talks here. Personally, I tend to have Louise Hay or Wayne Dyer on in the background as I go about myself but there are so many out there of different beliefs, religions and ethos that there is something out there for everybody and having a positive belief system permeating your home is a really good way of helping you to live your truth and your soul purpose.

Talking of the home, your outer environment also plays a part in keeping you aligned supported and happy. I take time to make sure my home is somewhere I want to be. I have a lot of greenery around me and I decorate in colours which I find agreeable to my soul. There are also crystals everywhere (my friend has a theory that this is why my internet connection is so terrible, if anybody has any thoughts on this do let me know) Every room has crystals relating to what I would like the room to feel like. For example I have moonstone, celestite, clear quartz and tektite in my bedroom whereas I have sun stone, lapis lazuli, amethyst and larimar in my living room. None of that was a definitive list by the way. I have these things around as they resonate with me. You may wish to have other things around you but choose things which resonate well with you and make you happy. Again, I do not believe that any of this is responsible for making us the aligned soul we wish to be but enhance and magnify the positive energy within and without out of us.

Also eat -please. I mean food, as in real food. If you put garbage in you get garbage out. When we are dealing with upheaval a lot of us eat junk or nothing at all. Good food nourishes the body and soul and it is so important to take time to prepare a decent meal. It doesn’t have to Michelin star but it does have to be made with love. We honour our bodies and our selves when we take time to sustain and nourish ourselves.

This is pretty much most things I incorporate to give myself some spiritual support and routine. I do hope you can take something from this- all of it comes tried, tested and thoroughly recommended. Embrace this time don’t run scared from it. Allow tears of sadness to eventually be turned into tears of gratitude. Please remember that you are worth investing in. You mean something. You came here for a reason and the world needs to see your light shining bright.

Love,

Annie x

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